The Skills That Have The Largest Impact On Your Personal and Professional Life
The skills we're talking about today have the largest impact on your personal and professional life. They stick with you for your entire life and will continuously improve the quality of your existence. Most of them are a bit difficult to master, but if you do, the rewards are endless.
1. Learning to Learn
The first skill, sitting at number one, is learning how to learn. This is the holy grail of skills. Once you realize that every type of skill can be learned, the world starts to look a lot like a video game. Like Steve Jobs said, "Everything around you is made by other humans who are not smarter than you." This is one of the most underrated skills anyone could have, and it's a total game-changer.
People who are self-taught learners are well aware of how straightforward it is to learn to do something from scratch, but most people are scared when life puts them in a situation where learning is a necessity. Gen Z has trouble with basic technology, which is kind of funny, to be honest. But the point is, we survived and thrived because we learned new things and how to do them better. It's at the core of our nature and should be a fundamental skill for everyone.
2. The Ability to Adapt
Adapting, improvising, and overcoming obstacles isn't just a Bear Grylls catchphrase. It's actually what allows you to keep moving forward and survive the hard times you're going to face on your journey. Only the ignorant believe they have life all figured out and that it's going to be all straight roads from now on. In the words of Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."
Life is not fair. It's complex, and your dedication to keep moving on is what allows you to win. Hard times are ahead: people will betray your trust, things won't always work out in your favor, and you'll be put down to the ground if you haven't already been. But you have to change your attitude, seek alternative routes, get creative, and overcome what life throws at you. If things are getting harder, it means you're leveling up in the game of life.
3. Clearing Your Mind
You are not your body. You are not the things you own. You are not what people think of you. You are your mind. Everything that makes you who you are resides in that cage made of bone between your ears—that is who you are, that is what makes you, you.
Every action, idea, thought, desire, weakness, and sorrow begins right there. From our experience, most people fall into two categories: either they live in their head entirely, creating a bubble around themselves and becoming extremely biased (this makes them take everything personally and become too sensitive to the world around them), or they avoid talking to themselves altogether, which makes them disconnected from what's happening within them.
In a way, it's either too much reaction or no reaction at all. The reason why mind clarity is so important is that it allows you to see how things are and what they could become.
4. The Ability to Verbalize
Verbalizing what you think and feel—you would be amazed at how few people can put into words what they believe, what they feel, and what they think about an issue. This is one of the biggest downfalls of relationships. One of the partners is unable to tell the other person what's wrong, and instead, they choose to bury that feeling of sorrow within themselves until it builds up to the inevitable collapse of the relationship.
This goes beyond just romantic relationships—it's the same in friendships, co-worker relationships, and family dynamics. People are often scared to speak up when they feel differently. That's how you end up living a mediocre life because the path is no longer dictated by what would be sustainable in the long run. Instead, it's written by unsatisfactory compromises. If you're not 100% honest and involved in the process, it's easy to let it go in the hopes that something better will come along. But none of those parties win, and you're all just wasting time.
5. The Ability to Sell and Negotiate
Selling and negotiating—everything you do is a sale or a negotiation process. If you want a girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to sell them on the idea of you being the right person for them. If you want a job, you need to be able to sell your skill set over that of other potential hires. Even to yourself, you have to sell the idea that you can be and do better than you're doing today.
Selling is not a synonym for lying. Selling is a rational process in which you break down why your solution will add value to the other party. Selling is persuading others to join you in creating a better outcome for you both. This feeds directly into the ability to verbalize, which we mentioned earlier. Life is a constant negotiation—with others, with yourself, and even with time itself. It's a negotiation between effort and satisfaction under the umbrella of time.
By doing things that people want right now, you're negotiating a future where you can enjoy a life that is unavailable to many others. And you know what? We've got an expert collection within the Alux app dedicated to fine-tuning your negotiation skills straight across the board. It's called Master Negotiator in 15 Days. Scan the QR code on the screen to get 50% off your yearly subscription.
6. Knowing How to Shut Up
Knowing how to shut up—listen and learn from the person you're talking to. How many people do you know who just never know when to shut up? If you're the one doing the talking, you're not growing, because you're the one putting out what you already know.
The only way for you to improve is to actively listen—and we mean listen—to someone else. Listening is different from just hearing them. It involves paying attention and creating a mental blueprint of the information, which you can access if you need to. Always assume the person you're talking to knows something you don’t. Don't get blindsided by arrogance. Okay, it's more important to grow than to give the impression that you already know everything. That right there is what differentiates the real from The Pretenders.
Number 7: The Ability to Self-Motivate
The first step is always the hardest in anything that you do. That's because it requires you to do something you've never done before. It involves being in new environments, making yourself vulnerable on purpose, and putting yourself in a position where there's a chance you'll fail. This is where the skill to self-motivate comes in. Down to its core, self-motivation is essentially finding a good reason to start doing something—something you can't do without mind clarity, which we talked about earlier. It's that initial spark that builds momentum. Those who possess the ability to self-motivate will always be one step ahead of everybody else.
Number 8: Building and Maintaining Discipline
People don't take the first step because they lack motivation. And those who do manage to make that first step? Well, they eventually quit because they lack discipline. You see, after you make that first step, the rest is pretty much smooth sailing until you face your first hurdle. Some days you're just not into it. You're a bit tired, a bit exhausted, and things get a bit boring. So you tell yourself, "You know what, maybe this isn't something I want to do." This happens because of a lack of discipline. You see, what discipline really is, is a deal you make with yourself that something must be done consistently because the outcome is something that you deeply care about. And you make this trade expecting things to be hard. That's the whole point of discipline. Because if you think about it, you don't need discipline to eat ice cream every day—you could do that for years on end because it's enjoyable, which is something you can't say about achieving something of great importance, right? Because if that were true, everyone in the world would be wildly successful and extremely happy all the time. You have to build and maintain a certain level of discipline to be able to withstand the inevitable stress and resistance you'll have to face along the way.
Number 9: Energy Management
You start the day with 100% energy levels, that is, if you had a good enough sleep, and through the day, it goes lower and lower until you feel exhausted. Now, here's the thing: there are multiple types of energy. Physical energy is the one that most people think about—it's how energetic or tired your body feels. But you also have the mental energy, which is consumed when you focus or you have to be creative. There's also emotional energy, which gets depleted when you have to deal with people and social situations, and so on. But here's where it gets interesting: different tasks consume different types of energy, and people have a bad habit of filling up days with stuff that consumes all types of energy all at once. They try to get up early, be productive at work, sit in a bunch of meetings, get dinner with friends, and then somehow still have the juice to go work out—and then they complain that modern life is too chaotic for all of these things to happen. Well, yeah, no. If you look at highly efficient people, you'll see that they organize their days based on the type of energy that's needed and bulk everything up. Monday might be for meetings and only that. Tuesday through Wednesday might be for heavy creative work where they're unavailable. The end of the week might be time for admin work, and so on. The moment you start mixing things up, well, that's when everything crumbles, and you feel out of focus and unproductive because you are.
Number 10: The Ability to Read and Understand
You know, to this day, we still can't believe how few people are aware of the power of books. The fact you can learn from someone's entire life experience in just a couple of days is the biggest knowledge leverage available. It's never been easier to get access to valuable information or strategies and advice. A single book can change your life. One page could spark an idea in you that would transform your entire existence. Read more, but read to understand. Read to comprehend and store that knowledge. Make use of it in your life. Read for self-development, not just purely for entertainment. Find books that have someone's struggles embedded in the pages and the solutions they used to overcome them.
Number 11: The Ability to Break a Process Down into Smaller Steps
Now, this is one of the reasons why we've managed to build a successful company. Most people look at the result: "I want to have $1 million," but never break it down. So what does it take to get there? How many sales do I need to make? What needs to happen every month, every week, and every day, so that at the end of the year, I can hit that goal? That's what successful people do. Okay, they do the math. They start breaking down their goals. This is what plans are. If you're not breaking down a goal into individual milestones, you're just dreaming. It's like wishful thinking. Okay, that's why people in STEM fields are massively outperforming everyone else because they're taught how to deconstruct an issue and solve it in a step-by-step manner. You never learned this from studying literature. It's a distinct type of thinking that gives you an edge over everyone else.
Number 12: Self-Analysis
You can only improve what you can measure. Almost every successful person is tracking their progress, no matter what field or industry they're in. Do you want to lose weight? Start tracking your food and document your weight every day. Pretty soon you'll realize the impact of what you eat and your level of activity on the number shown on the scale. Once you see what's good for you, you'll do more of it and less of the bad things. It's pretty obvious, yet most of you don't track anything in your life. We have analytics for everything that we want to improve. The analysis shows that you've got a clear picture of what you're dealing with—from your actions to your feelings.
Number 13: Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
Talk about underrated skills. Look, you're going to have to deal with people, okay? We're all a part of a giant social mechanism that relies on us working cohesively together. Emotional intelligence allows you to have a smooth ride while navigating these dangerous waters. People who lack emotional intelligence think everyone hates them and believe other people are unjustifiably getting promoted in life. Emotional intelligence is a skill—it's your ability to interact with people, to understand them, to talk to them, and to motivate them. We're not machines, okay? We've got good days and bad days. We have different sets of values and respond to different triggers. Emotional intelligence allows you to see and understand the differences between individuals. In life overall, people with high EQ outperform those with high IQ. And because of this, others simply want them to succeed more.
Number 14: Self-Respect and Having a Backbone
Speaking of values, do you know what you stand for? Who you are as a person? Because once you do, you can start acting accordingly. You'll stand your ground. You'll not let others walk all over you. People will treat you the way you treat yourself, not the way you treat other people. Those who have a high degree of self-respect also happen to be the ones society respects the most. It's always fascinating to see someone who speaks up about when things aren't going in the right direction—someone who calls out the unjust. These are people who influence the world, and through their actions, they change it for the better.
Number 15: The Ability to Generate Ideas that Have Value
Now, we've already established that your mind is the most powerful weapon you have in your arsenal. Think of your mind as a large piece of fertile land in which you can plant crops. The mind doesn't care what you plant in it—it'll do its job and grow that crop. Some people plant useful trees, while others fill their minds with weeds. If you can take care of your mind, you'll be able to produce quality ideas that will bring joy, success, and fulfillment to your life. However, the same as with a tree, it won't bear fruit overnight. It'll take time and nourishment for that tree to grow. So keep watering it and giving it what it needs, and soon you'll be able to come up with better ideas. Ideas are free, and a single idea can make you rich, successful, and happy. A string of good ideas can make life easier for you and can slowly move you in the right direction. However, the goal is to focus on ideas that have value.
Now, none of these skills are easy to master, but once you do, you'll reap the benefits for the rest of your life. So it pays greatly to invest in acquiring as many of them as you can. Which of these 15 are you currently trying to master? Let us know in the comments, and we'll be sure to join you in the conversation. And since you stuck with us until the end, you're getting a bonus: The Ability to Simulate Outcomes.
Now this one is as close to cheating at the game of life as it gets. It's like a superpower in which you can look into the future and decide which version of it you want to live. Every day, you sit at the crossroads of life. You could change, pick between options, and adjust your course if need be. That's where this skill comes into play. So let's say you're undecided between becoming a doctor or an engineer, for the sake of argument. All you have to do is simulate what your life would be like if you pursued each of these paths and see which outcome you would rather live than commit to it. The more detail you can simulate in your mind, the more accurate a prediction you can make, resulting in a better decision for yourself. What would your life be like if you continued to date this person? Will you be happy, or are you just scared of being alone? Simulate circumstances for both the near and long-term future. The more things you simulate, the better you are at predicting what will happen. Like, after simulating all of the possible arguments you could have with someone, you'll be able to pick the one that gets you the best result with the minimum amount of downside. Too many of you jump right into the fight without analyzing the situation first and then complain that the outcome isn't what you wanted. That's why people relive moments of their lives in their heads, thinking, "If only I did it this way instead." Well, you can—but you have to simulate that situation beforehand so you don't end up living with that regret.
If you think you could use this skill in your life, please write the word "simulate" in the comments. We'll see you back here next time,
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